Friday, April 26, 2013

"we found a spot on her brain" pt. 2


See part 1 HERE

Right after I hung up, I got a call back from the Dr.
The neurologist saw cause for concern & was to come in for a emergency  appt for a MRI.
From the looks of the scan it look like she had, had a stroke.


&; I lost it.
I remember cry/screaming I TOOK HER IN FOR A EAR INFECTION.
SHE IS FINE.
I remember saying that over & over to Brandon. We over analized everything about her.
Why wasn't she walking yet? Why wasn't she talking more? What about her leg that drags?
I remember them saying what kind of syndromes were being thrown out there.
But i refrained from google. Which is huge for me.

I seemed like forever but we finally got to the Neuro.
She was also about 98%  it was a stroke.
I could have been one, or it also looked as tho it was made up of 3 spots.
Had there been 3? Was there one that was recent?
The other 2% was horrifying thought of a mass/cyst/tumor.


We talked about all the preterm labor, my pregnancy in general, ALL of the medications I was on.
How that it could be the answer to this.
& I sobbed.
ME. I could be the reason why my baby had this spot on her brain. ME.

 The Neuro decided to do a EEG that day & not overwhelm her with both in one day.
We needed to see if that side of her brain was slowed, if it had any correlation to her foot.

She did so well, her appt was VERY early in the morning since she was supposed to be put under for the MRI.
So they hooked her up to a million wires, while I got to hold her.
I asked to turn down the lights, they turned on Dora & she nursed herself to sleep!

smiling thru it!


The EEG shows no slowing of the side of the brain, & it was was on the wrong siden to be effect her foot. Which was great news.
But we still didnt have any real answers which lied with MRI.

I seemed to take FOREVER for this thing.
The ansesistologist was on vacation {she had to be put under for it} so they had just a "sub" if you will one in & he wasn't there as often.
So we had to sit & wait & think & think which was awful.

Finally the day came.
 It was a over all rough morning. There with a problem with the scheduling & we were told things that werent true.
Like that we would be able to hold her when they put in the meds for her to go to sleep.
It was just one thing after another.
I remember them taking her away & putting her on the stainless steel table.
She had her paci in & they put the med in & just like that her paci fell out.
her mouth hung open & they drapped her little bunny blanket {its her favorite} over her little body.
& i started bawling. I kept thinking she looked dead.
I checked to make sure a few times.
They had to give her another dose because she wouldn't fall asleep.
Then finally they sent us out. I didn't know she would be in that huge room all by herself. That gave me anxiety.
before we went into the MRI suite. Watching Mickey in the Hospital room
55 tiles. There is 55 tiles on the ceiling in that MRI suite from where I was sitting.
Brandon & I didn't say anything to each other.
He was white in the face, he wouldn't even sit down.
I remember in that moment I smiled, thinking she is fine, she is perfect. No matter what this says, my baby is perfect. & now matter what a test says it wouldn't change anything.

I know that seems like the normal thing you are supposed to say, but call me a bad a mom; it wasnt.
I was so sad, thinking something was "wrong" with her.
That is why she wasn't doing this, why she wasn't doing that.

Next I heard the nurse say "Dr I am not picking up on the blood pressure do you want me to go in there"
& my heart sank. Brandon looked like he was gonna punch someone.
The dr ignores her.
2 mins go by & we are just staring at each other in fear.
The nurse says again "dr im still not getting her blood pressure what do you want me to do"
& that is when Brandon marched in there & YELLED at the dr.
"IS HER BLOOD PRESSURE OK? I HAVE HEARD HER ASK YOU TWICE NOW & YOU HAVE CHOOSEN TO IGNORE HER."
He said it was fine, he would see she was fine & to go sit down it was almost over.

Luckily it was, it was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
She came out awake & bubbly; wanting me to hold her.
She was like a newborn, her neck she could barely hold up.
They said we would find out results hopefully in 24-48 hrs & just to just keep calling the neuro & bugging them.
We took her to breakfast, I had to sit in the back with her in case her neck gave or & to just keep a eye on her.
She was SUPER sleepy the next 48 hrs.
We got a call later the next day asking how she was doing & that there had been a irregularity in her blood pressure & make sure she didn't get overly upset or overly excited & to get lots of rest this first 24 hrs. Um 24 hrs? its past that. To which they replied OH, we have down here it was this morning.
Seriously, this hospital was a MESS with their communication.

Monday came & we went to the park. It was beautiful out.
I see the neuros # come up on my cell. & I have my friend stay with the girls while I walked away to hear better.
The results were back.
She had, had a stroke. Mostly likely during pre term labor or during my fast fast birth.
It wasnt three, it was one.
& it was just that.
A spot on her brain that doesn't get blood flow, but it was FINE.
Everything is FINE.
She will have to have follow up MRIs just in 6 months & a year & so fourth to make sure it doesn't get any bigger but the spot is not effecting her!
She was 100% healthy.
I could have fallen to the ground. I was so happy.

We celebrated that night.
& honestly just took a deep breath.
Brandon & I both were just on egg shells, holding our breaths for weeks.

We didn't tell very many people about this because we didn't want to scare anyone & in case, which it did turn out to much of nothing.
But for those that did know?
THANK YOU.
Thank you for prayers I truly felt GODs precinse in each of the those rooms when she was getting tests done.
I fully believe in the power of prayer & I know that is why my girl is completely healthy & completely perfect in everyway! :)

7 comments:

  1. OMG! I cried reading this! I am so happy that everything is ok! I can't imagine what you had to go through, waiting has to be the worst. Hope you have a great weekend :)

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  2. Praise the Lord! I needed to read this happy story today, Tara. I too have felt God's presence in my life now more than ever and it is the most comforting thing in the world. Kids are SO resilient and continue to amaze and surprise me every day. I started my nursing career as a pediatric nurse and eventually worked in the OR with kids and they are far better patients than adults. Kensley is such a strong, beautiful kiddo and there is nothing wrong with her - not a thing. I'm glad you got your answers - Amen!

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  3. So glad things are okay. Answered prayers! What a blessing! I can't imagine how very terrifying that was. Thank you for sharing your story. Take good care!

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  4. i was tearing up read this post! I am so glad she is going to be okay. I cant even imagine what you guys were going through!

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  5. Such a relief! I am so happy for you all. I will continue to pray she stays healthy.

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  6. I am so glad she is healthy!! :) Such a relief after yesterdays post!!! She is a beautiful girl!!

    Erica Dee
    erica-dee.blogspot.com

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shucks, thanks the comment!
i looove hearing from you!
-tara :)

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