Summer Bucketlist: the zoo!

Well we marked one off! I revised it a little & put alot; cause Lord knows we will be back again & again this summer! Here is some pictures from our first zoo visit of the season.

I only now realize we didn't get any pictures of sister snoozing away in the stroller. She only woke up to nurse & get changed once so here is one of her right before we dressed her to leave! One of her many minor struggles we have had with sister is being able to control her temp from being a little early so she is LOVING this 85+ degree weather! Evidence:

Bug is kinnnnda a monkey addict recently due to her Curious George addiction so when she saw some in real life? holy peas. Girlfriend was excitied!

"es oh mun-kees mommas!"

I thought they didnt like water? Homeboy got IN the water to fetch some popcorn.?!?!

Different monkeys in the African Safari, this is the "ohhh-there is a baby mun-kee over there" :P

I die. Look at their matching feets.

Whats a momma gotta do to get a good pic?

tickles.

Again, with the pictures girlfriend. Obviously momma got the memo.

The carosel may or may not have been a huge hit ;)

it took some major bribing & around 10 mins to get her out of the tree house!

Also? all the DQ's are gone from the zoo! They had pizza instead. One guess who was super happy about that?

After what seemed like forever in fountain we headed to the "oats" aka goats!
I was super excitied to see her with them since I grew up with them & we will be getting some when we move to our next house!

"SIT" haha

Ended the day with talking daddy into getting her a "kitty"

Summer Bucketlist!

We are so excitied for this summer!

Here is some things we are hoping to do as a family!

Each one we cross off, I will write about :)

on being a momma of 2

For me being pregnant I balanced between two emotions unbelievable utter joy for this new little baby & some serious fear.

Sure I wanted this baby more than anything.

But I also have this little adorable toddler that has been my WHOLE world for the past 17 months.

During my last weeks of pregnancy I kinda went into panic mode.

Was she going to hate me? How would she react? Would she hate her sister?

& most of all how was I going to react?

I know I know, loving another child just comes to you; & its true it does. I love Kensley just as much as Kennedy equally & with so much love I really think my heart will explode.

But right before I had Kensley, I am talking in the ambulance in excrusicating pain, I got very still & quite & just thought about.  CAN I DO THIS?

I found out pretty fast that I COULD. & felt so silly for thinking otherwise.

There is still alot of questioning myself I wont lie.

When I have to nurse Kensley & Kennedy wants my attention NOW; as she used to get on demand I just can't do. & sometimes when Kensley is crying & I pick her up after being on the floor playing with Kennedy, there is a head flinging back all out tantrum because I was picking up the baby again & shifting my attention off of her.

& when one is crying so the other must cry louder which happens at least every day. I question again CAN I DO THIS? Ive only ever wanted to be a momma & when you put that  job so high up on pedestal; I doubted that i would let myself down, that I wouldn't be the mom I dreamt I would be my whole life. But then...

I see this:

& honestly every question & doubt I have goes away.

I am LOVING being a momma of 2. I generally dont sit but to pump before 9 o clock at night.

I thought I would be exhausted {which I am} & not be able to get off the couch. But I do. My house is acutally the cleanest its ever been because I am constantly up & moving & following bug again picking up the next mess she makes. The dishes are always done cause I have to have everything clean & on hand for whatever my day throws at me.

I am learning to juggle both of their needs & wants & some days its a struggle. But most the time? I am having a ton of fun, chasing Kennedy in the backyard, or playing chalk with Kensley in hand or in the sling.

I am far from perfect, lord knows that.

I am still trying to figure this whole 2 under 2 thing out.

But; I am exactly the mother I dreamt & wish I would be.

A momma of 2!

Tommee Tippee Review!

Im gonna be honest, I was a little apprehensive on this review we have a been huge Avent household since day one... previously! When I first receieved my box of bottles I was pretty blown away, the nipple was so soft & the whole "closer to nature" thing I "got". Of course there cant be a bottle that is exactly like a actual breast these are pretty darn close.

I am about 98% exclusively breastfeeding Kensley but Brandon has always wanted to be apart of feedings & we really wanted to get Kennedy involved in feedings, so with all millions of ounces of pumped milk we had our first bottle feeding. Kennedy was always so finicky about which bottle she would take; but I 100% believe because of the "closer to nature" nipple on these bottles make the transition for Kensley from bottle to breast & breast to bottle a complete ease! Which was such a refief since I didnt want to have any nipple confusion & some babies born early like Kensley have problems sucking.

We loved them so much, we went out & got a bigger pack of the anti colic bottles because Kensley sucks very fast & even faster when using a bottle. With our other bottles you had to put on the nipples "just right" or it would leak the whole bottle in seconds. Even with the extra colic insert we have never had one leak with our Tommee Tippee bottles!

We now are kinda Tommee Tippee addicts! haha We got the bottle warmer which is a life saver when warming up breastmilk since you can't microwave it! & we also just got the monitor which I also can't say enough good things about!

Overall, Tommee Tippee bottles are great for breastfeeding moms who pump or formula mommas alike! They truly are "closer to nature" & I always get so many compliments on how they are "cool looking" :)

You can learn more about Tommee Tippee: HERE

Buy the bottles I reviewed: HERE

Facebook & Twitter: @TommeeTippee_NA where they have triva giveaways quite frequently!

Tommee Tippee also just launched a very cool site  called the day your baby was born!

I haven't had a chance to make Kensleys yet but you can capture everything about your babys birthday in one place! Its a  simple way to capture moments of pregnancy and the birth day through the gathering of Facebook posts, a selection of birthday news and facts and the collection precious memories through a pregnancy journal! Go check it out HERE

I was not paid for this review, I was simply given a product & gave my honest opinion on it.

Sisters

I so have so many vivid memories with my little sister, Tiffany. We had such crazy imaginations; we were always up to something & my mom was always happy to help with whatever we would come up with.

There was many tea parties, "club houses", picnics on huge quilts in the middle of the yard & many lessons of "school" in our bedroom.

The moment I found out Kensley was a girl, my dreams of sisterly things Kennedy whirled in my head.

Sure they will have years of adventures together that I will no doubt make tea, sew curtains for tiny windows & pack the most delicious picnic meals for them in years to come.

But what better time then the present to start?

So Friday in the 80 degree weather I pulled out my moms huge quilt that had been handed down to me; grabbed Kennedys favorite snack: grapes & cheese & made a place under our tree in the back yard.

& cranked up our favorite tunes

Sure 2 weeks into having this little baby in our lives there had been times Kennedy has resented this beautiful little human.

But as I sat back, I watched my daughter become a big sister right before my eyes.

& saw so much of the love I have for my little sister beam from her.

It was little things like how she would randomly pet her sisters head while eating her grapes 

or lean over to kiss her on the head, like it was so natural;

that I saw the most wonderful relationship start to form.

Sisters are a special thing my friends.

& last Friday I think bug got a little taste of just how special that is!

well...shes here!

I hate that I wait so long after to write this like kennedys 

But to be honest I havent had to time to sit down with out a toddler on my lap or a newborn nursing since we came home 2 weeks ago!

Here we go this is long, & probably graphic for some, so if you are quesey about birth ish this isn't for you :)

So started off about 20+ days prior to having Kensley I was in L&D at least once a week if not more with full blown labor.

I was pumped, injected & poped a million pills to stop this gal from coming. Since they changed my due date to May 20th; she was no where close to being ready to come in the world.

By the week that I had her, I was SO exhausted. At that point I had been in labor 3 times the week before.

April 18th I started off the day with contractions as always about 15 minutes apart, they started speeding up & the next thing I knew they were pretty strong & a min apart; they were in my back & as the day before were being to stall out so I knew like big sister she was sunny side up. 

I called my OB & asked what our next plan was. We had talked about just letting her come since I was physically exhausted from the weeks prior & had Brandon leaving work to be with at the hospital for days what seemed like every other day. & all the labor was putting alot of stress on baby. But he wanted to get at least 2 more weeks out of her; so he told me to take 2 procadia & 1 brethane. I littery broke down crying. I selfishly just wanted her to come, I wasn't over being pregnant, but I was ready to stop  being in labor every other day going thru the pain & not getting a baby at the end. Being away from Kennedy to be in the hospital for days at time & inconveincing everyone had just gotten to me. I went upstairs to settle down, so I didn't upset Kennedy & left her to play with my Mom in the playroom. 

6:10: As I go upstairs I use the restroom, stand up & feel a gush. Itty Bitty gush. I thought OH?? umm did i totally just pee on myself??!? & sat back down to have another gush & realized that I def hadn't! Grabbed a pad & ran downstairs yelling "MY WATER JUST BROKE" & went into "tara-over-dramatic-im-gonna-imagine-the-absolute-worse-thing-happening-ever" mode & started yelling I needed to get to the hospital cause I was gonna get a infection. Grant it that COULD happen, it was not going to happen in that short 5 mins from it happening to walking downstairs. But hey leave it to me :) I called Brandon & said "uhh my water broke" to which he replied "so should I come??" ha! He works a hour away! I grabbed Kensleys bag that had been packed for weeks, & Kennedy, my mom & I headed to hospital!

7:25: We got to the hospital since I live 45 seconds away it was no big deal. Do all the registration & the lady probably makes me walk the longest way possible to the L&D unit. Get into a bed & she checks to see if it was amonic fluid & the q-tip barely touches me & turns instantly black! "its defiently broke" the nurse said! & leaves. Comes back to check me & says my cervix is wayyyy far back & didn't know if the Dr would want her to bring it forward but it felt like I was 3cm. (Which is what I had been off on for over a week, I went from 3cm back to 1cm then back in a few days it was nuts.)

Let me just take one second to remind ya'll my plan was 100% natural birth. No meds ect. 

7:35ish: I have my first contraction ever with no water. With Kennedy they broke my water ast 9cm  & was pushing in mins. I look at my mom & say there is no way in heck I was doing this with out pain meds. Contractions are a WHOLE NEW ball game without your bag of water to soften the blow. I litterly was gripping the bed & moaning in SO much pain. Not to mention telling everyone to shut up & get away from me with every contraction. I remember in between one REALLY bad one I texted Jennifer & said "holy shit this hurts" hahaha After 15 mins of back to back contractions the nurse FINALLY comes back in & I beg her for shot of nubane to take the edge off. Which is when my OB comes in says I have 2 options,we still weren't in the clear & there was a chance after I had Kens she would be transferred to a hospital with a NICU & I would have to stay behind for at least 24 hours. or 2. go as a package & deliver elsewhere.  I couldn't risk not being with my baby so I was gonna be transferred. Since I had a 4 hours labor with Kennedy I couldn't get any pain meds cause they were pretty sure I would have her in the ambulance & she couldn't be born sleepy. Brandon Finally got there & I was in SO much pain. I was begging for some sort of relief. Brandon said "this is what you wanted you can do this. you can do this."

8:10: I was in a ambulance on my way to Dupont. My OB sent a L&D nurse with us still thinking I may deliver in the ambulance. Brandon had to sit upfront, so I only had the poor nurse to grab her hand in pain. I had transitioned in the ambulance waiting on a freakin train. Yeah a train. Not to mention this drive hit every.single.huge.bump.ever.in the road. its like he was trying to hit them haha & the guy in the back with me? was missing all but 4 teeth & kept rubbing my arm & my head. Poor man knew with in mins he shouldn't do that haha the contractions actually seemed to get shorter when we got on the highway; thank goodness.

8:30 we arrive at the hospital. I am sweating from the worse pain I have ever experienced & as we get in the hospital it is burning hot. Turns out the AC broke & it was freakin 85 degrees! YEAH, super fun. We get up to the delivery room where they try getting my IV 5 times & blow each vein, cause I WAS getting a epidural. Since the IV wasnt working I ask for a shot again, she checks me & I am 8cm on the verge of 9cm  so the shot was out.  I couldn't believe it.

At this point I am begging for a epi. They get the IV finally & run fluid straight thru & try to give me a epidural. THE DR DID IT WRONG & IT DIDN'T WORK. He asks if I want him to try it again, & the nurse said we didn't have time & "Honey you have already done it, your at the end now" 

The contractions were shorter but still I was in SO much pain, I felt everything. I actually felt her come down  after I got her to turn from  being on my side.

Minutes later I HAD to push. Not like oh I have a bit of a sensation to push. But I am gonna have this baby right now let me push her out feeling. I was saying ahem, yelling I had to push.

Brandon was such a great coach & told me I had to wait, I was doing great! I in the not so nicest way possible let him no that "I HAD TO PUSH"  The nurse checked me & I said I couldn't I had just a half a cm to go & I couldn't push or I would tear my cervix just as my new OB interrupted & checked me & said "5 min & this will be over" I remember Brandon & I looking at each other like WHOA, this is really happening (as if the excruciating pain wasnt enough) & next thing I knew the room was filled with a NICU team which included my high school best friend, a respiratory team, & more nurses shoving poor Jess (the photog) in the corner. 

9:19 The Dr ended up stretching my cervix the rest of way & told me to push! 2 pushes later she was out at 9:20! They put her on me, & although it was in my birth plan to instantly go to my chest, since she was early they wisked her away to get checked.

I started bawling as did Brandon & I kept yelling I wanted her. I just wanted to hold her. I don't know how people dont do the instant chest time, as I did with Kennedy. I felt awful & just wanted my baby NOW.

I needed to know she was ok.

& Finally I had her in my arms.

She was perfect.

 

I instantly started to breastfeed & sister latched like a champ!

She was finally here. 

Oh the months of crying with every negative, the frustrated nights of emotional breakdowns of "why us". The weeks of fertility meds & hormones & the 9 months of utter fear, sickness & hospital stays.

Our family was complete. Our second gift from GOD & absolute miracle in every sense of the word was here.

I held her & sobbed told her how I waited my whole life for her.

We got another child. We gave our daughter a sibling.

Something we were told would not happen.

Miracles happen ya'll.

One is sleeping upstairs, & the other is nursing in my lap.

& I just don't know what I did to be so blessed.

All photos by the awesome Jess @ J3designz