Tuesday, January 20, 2015

4 things your wife needs, but she won't say

This is a first in my series of encouragement posts. I started to make a post about appreciating your husband & realized there was a million of those out there. I will still post it. But it really struck me, that us at home sometimes gets left in the dust in bit.
Which brings me to:
4 things your wife needs, but won't say that will completely make her feel appreciated.



1.She feels overwhelmed. It's hard to say. & saying it makes her feel worse than what she already feels. Sometimes feeling overwhelmed can make mommas feel inadequate. Between taking care of the children, making dinner, and keeping the home together, she has a lot on her plate. She wants you to be her partner, not another person to take care of. That’s why she probably cried {good tears} when you offer to make dinner or do bath time, even though you may have worked all day. She likes when you take chargePicking up some of the slack provides her SO much relief. Don’t wait for her to ask. Just do it.

2.She loves to be adored. I get it, some men just don't have it in them to be emotional & to express that. But you have to find a way to let your wife know you love, adore & cherish her. Tell her through words, written or spoken, or thoughtful gift or a romantic getaway. Even if it's a "hey I just heard this song that reminded me of you" or a text letting her know you missed her while at work that day. It doesn't matter how, just make her feel special. Men may be able to go without many of these things, but to many women this is her oxygen. When you cherish her and make her feel important, she feels valued and appreciated as a wife. When she does not feel cherished, she may feel resentful or insecure about your relationship.

3. She wants to be heard. Hear out her anxieties even if they seem so silly to you. Instead of telling her not to be worried, validate her fears and offer to help her. When she stresses out about next year’s birthday party or vacation, don’t brush her off. Genuinely listen and ask to help. Take steps together to relieve the anxiety, it calms her down and makes her feel taken care of.

4. She wants you to remember her. Sometimes it so easy to forget that your wife is your wife too & not just "mommy". Does she really like something? Have a hobby? Encourage her. Let her know you think what she does/likes is great. Is there a quality you love about her outside of her being mommy? Tell her. Let her know how you love her compassion when she gives the guy on the road a 20. When your out & see something that she likes, pick it up for her. She doesn't do enough for herself including getting that thing of oreos or lotion for herself. She is always getting the the families "wants" it is nice for someone else to get them for her.


Listen, I know it's hard to see all that she is doing while you are at work everyday. But can you imagine doing a million tasks in one day, without your check & affirmations from coworkers/boss? It so crazy to think of all the small things your missing that she does & you noticing would totally make her day. It crazy but do you know the bottom of the toilet & around it needs cleaned too? Not just IN the bowl? Yeah she does that. It doesn't magically stay clean all the time. & actually really freakin gross. Crazy huh?

In any relationship especially a marriage & even more so with children. Each partner needs to feel appreciated for the work they do. I know I make such a effort to make sure Brandon feels appreciated for his work, because he IS the reason for our lifestyle & for me staying home. Some times I have to make it a priority when its hard to turn off being mom. Sometimes and many times I do, want gruff at Brandon having a busy day & him getting home late. & I'll have to push myself to give the "wow great job! Thats good you were so busy!" 

In the same token, that doesn't mean that the one at home whether it be mom or dad is to feel any less beneficial to the family for the work they do just because they aren't bringing home a check for their work.

I encourage you for month to make a valid effort to take the time to truly appreciate your spouse. At the end of the month I think you will be amazed at change it will make in BOTH of you.

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shucks, thanks the comment!
i looove hearing from you!
-tara :)

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