Monday, November 11, 2013

The June Clever of social media.

I recently saw a post on Facebook with mommas, mocking truly mocking very harshly, another momma on.. guys you won't believe this. But they were saying harsh, awful things about this woman, her life, her family & what type of mother she was not because of the neglect or abuse; all of which before seeing the post & only  reading comments you would think they were talking about; but they said them because of the way she made her childs LUNCH. Yes, her lunch.
No it wasn't that she had sent no lunch at all for her child. It wasn't that the lunch pail was full of candy & junk. No the lunch  was the cutest lunch I had ever seen. The sanwich was cut from a cut cookie cutter, there vegetables cut up as shapes, with matching fruit. a silly face on babybell cheese wrapping. THIS was what they were saying awful things about this woman. THIS.

 I have been criticized for the way I do things.
My decorations, parties, the way I dress my children.
All of it has caused other mother to look down on me!

Comments have made me to get anxious & feel bad & scurry for something to say to bring down something I had done.

Now most of this people judge me and other by what they see on their news feed.

One small square photo in a box of something fun. A outfit. A cake.
Is making you thinking horrible things about another.

Lets all remember that on social media  we share the good because we love the good.
We want to remember the good.
We share the good because it is, well; good.
What I don't get it? Why are some assuming that "good"coming up in our feed or in our coffee date/playdate/at preschool pickup; why do some "assume" this is for competition? Or because they are lacking in another?


Why can't a mom genuinely love over the top projects for their children? Why can't she hunt for fun activities to do around her town as a family? Make that fun holiday themed snack?  Have a awesome "pintrest" inspired party? & can't a momma post a elf on the shelf pic without come backlash?
How dare she do these things that YOU don't enjoy.
I get it, some just don't like it. Its not their "thing".
But some? believe it or not; thoroughly enjoy doing these things for their children & family.
I can bet you those moms? You won't find them posting the spoofs on any of the things I mentioned above, poking fun at another other mother for not doing those things. She isn't sharing a post about a mom not "making enough "magic" in childhood"
She isn't saying anything about you choosing not to make a homemade valentine, & picking up a box of adorable Strawberry Shortcake valentines at CVS.
No, she isn't.

& how dare ANY mother judge another for that?

If one mother does one thing, & another doesn't. doesn't make one right or wrong.

If your a happy person you wouldn't look at these things negatively.
Because something is going on in YOUR life, whatever big or little thing it maybe be. You feel the need to assume that because a mom is doing these things she has more time than you, or she doesn't spend enough time with her kids.
You thinking she is trying make YOU look bad!
It is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
STOP IT.
It scares me that the women of the world, putting down other mothers are raising the children of the world.

Each of us is a mother, each different but each just doing the best for their children.
Unless she is hurting her child, how dare we snarl up our lip at anything that is benefiting THEIR child. THEIR life. THEIR happiness.

What I am trying to get to here is, before you roll your eyes at the next picture in your feed or the momma at preschool pickup; maybe take a second.
 This mom is proud of her awesome lunchbox creation. She took special time to spell out things with
her daughters cheez-its. Bought a special bento thing for that holiday themed lunch. It brought her joy, did she do for the instagram pic? for on lookers comments? Maybe, but I can guarantee you the reason she does it & is so proud?
The reason she gets up extra early to do those things, isn't for those things.
 It is the look on her daughters face when she opens at lunch box at school today.

Isn't there enough horrible things happening to children in the world that we need not worry about the mommas that are doing their absolute best for their children everyday??
Be kind.
Lift each other up.
Be the parent you want your child to be
.
& keep the elf on the shelf pics coming! ;)

7 comments:

  1. *standing up and applauding* THANK YOU!

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  2. Very well said, Tara. I have to admit (as childish as I know this sounds) that I've unfollowed some seemingly "perfect June Clevers" over the years. I've grown up a lot since then, but I felt this "social media comparative anxiety" that was put on only by myself. Why wasn't I that good? My poor kid has such a crappy party compared to hers. But? Now I LOVE party planning and am a "Pinterest party mom" too. We do need to lift each other up. I agree with you too that we share the good because it is GOOD. Why share the tears, tantrums, and strife all the time? I'm probably pretty 'guilty' of sharing only good on Instagram. Oh well!

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  3. I one of those mom who does the special things because I enjoy it. I am also one of those moms who gets inspiration from the Social media June cleavers (cause I don't have a creative bone in my body). BUT I am also one of those moms who share the good and the bad. Sometime the bad need not be shared (for sake of oversharing- like the time my son pooped in the tub during his bath) but I still share.

    With all that being said- I don't understand why moms are so judgmental towards one another. I think it may have to do with a certain insecurities but still I'm with you- its unnecessary. We should def be lifting each other up weather we like to throw Pinterest worthy parties or not.

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    1. I am the same. I do the over the top, and get So much inspiration from moms like me via social media even tho I'm creative myself. I feel like I share bs w good but good takes up the majority. I couldn't agree more with the insecurities, but there is no need for a case of the judges on others! Thanks for reading!!

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  4. Amen! So tired of the judging! I'm a crafty/pinteresty (is that a word lol) mom and I love it! Doesn't mean everyone has to be that way! Great post Tara!

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shucks, thanks the comment!
i looove hearing from you!
-tara :)

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