Im sitting here in the dark, with the just light from the fireplace.
There's dishes in the sink. The kitchen table has salt all over it, because while I was tending to Kennedy; Kensley got up on the chair & emptied the whole shaker for her amusement.
And Dinner is still in serving dishes on the table.
My patience is on E.
I want the biggest glass of wine & for my husband to give me a hug.
I put both girls to bed with out saying a word to bed time stall tactics, kisses & hugs & a "I love you" & now they are snug in their Christmas jammies in their bed.
Earlier, the TV was off from after having dinner. We sat by the fire & colored the candy corn coloring pages I made for them. I was taking everything in.
Kennedy decided we needed to read books, as she often does.
She knows we have "school" tomorrow & no doubt we will need another mountain of fresh books.
I look around, looking at everything.
Looking at my life, right now.
Every single thing.
& I want to hold on to it forever.
Kensley little fingers. The way she smells her bunny blanket.
The left over mac & cheese on her sleeve.
Kennedy lost in books, always,always. & Amara never leaving her side.
"look at your life" I keep saying to myself.
It has been a tough week.
A real tough week.
& my eyes start to well up with tears for the umpteenth time this week
& then my girl asks me to read her a story.
We need days & moments like this.
We come down with "mommy amnesia" sit back, stop for just a second & smile.
We need those moments that make us forget that we now need a new salt shaker, & that for whatever reason your toddler pooped her pants for the second time today.
Those are moments that make it all worth it.
God gives us those.