Monday, January 30, 2012

second pregnancy IS different

This is kinda a little bit of a confessional.
I have said before how I have kinda felt guilty this pregnancy.
Things are so completely different.
With bug, I knew exactly how far along I was.
I wasn't working so my every move/thought was about her/being pregnant.
With Kensley I was SO sick, juggling a toddler, a house with a toddler {completely different when there isnt one},my health,& my business, I seriously catch  myself forgetting im pregnant.
Just a few weeks ago we passed a glowing pregnant woman, my first thought was I look at Brandon & instantly was sad/jealous, I think it is second nature to him too cause he was looking at me too; & I had to tell him "opps I forgot I am pregnant"

This baby I am not having a baby shower, which is what I want but shouldn't Kensley have a day where she is celebrated? 
With kennedy she already had half a closet full of clothes, some before we even knew gender from me & from SO many others. Kensley? Not one thing has been bought for her, even from me.

I feel like no one, including myself even asks about "her" just about fears of what might happen.
Even with me being pregnant, this pregnancy its not a big of a deal to Brandon if my back hurts ect; as opposed to Kennedy where he would jump to rub my back, & make sure I was comfortable.

She isn't ANY less wanted, not less loved. & I want her to be just as recognized as Kennedy was. She deserves that & needs that!!

So this is me writing to her, we are JUST as excited about you as we were with your sister. & I will do my absolute best to make sure you feel just as loved & just as excited for you ! Cause you are JUST as special & as big of a miracle as she is. WE CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU!

2 comments:

  1. Don't feel bad. I'm pregnant with #2 also. ANd yes, its different- but its OK and its completely normal. It wont be long and you will be preparing for this one and buying a few special things for her too. But, there are so many other things happening when its #2, life is completely different they just don't happen as early.

    I worry about the same things. But I'm learning that its just normal.

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  2. Aw, I'm sad you're feeling sad. Your feelings are completely normal. It's ok that everything is different and yes you're right - she deserves to be celebrated too. In fact, my post I have scheduled for tomorrow is exactly about this. I would just tell you to cut yourself some slack, life is so different now than it was the first time. That doesn't make it bad or better, just different. And find some people to celebrate with you - you BOTH deserve that!

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shucks, thanks the comment!
i looove hearing from you!
-tara :)

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