I am writing with some what of a heavy heart.
By a good friend I was told to read "Heave is For Real." by Todd Burpo
like probably many of you I had heard of it, but something was holding me back from reading it
I can't tell you why, I am the BIGGEST reader. 
But I couldn't bring myself to pick up the book.
Christy came over yesterday for a play date & told me to just read this one chapter
"Two Sisters"
{I ended up reading the whole book in 2 hours this morning}
The book is about a 3 year old that had a brush with death that tell of his trip to  heaven
giving vivid descriptions of things & even telling his father & mother what they were doing doing his surgery that there is no way he could of known
the chapter starts with the little boy coming up to his mom in the kitchen saying he has two sisters
his mother tell him he has one & must be getting confused with his cousin
& corrects her saying he has two, & one died her belly
they had never spoke of the miscarriage to him
he described her as looking like his sister but skinner & had brown hair
which would make her the hold one of the siblings looking like the mother
then the mother asked
"what was her name"

he replied
"she didn't have a name, you didn't name her."

Though you may not believe this book or not
it first gave me hope that I will see both my angel babies again
{he says that his sister says she can't wait to meet her mom & dad}

& secondly
I stopped & sobbed
I have never named my babies
how could I right? I didn't know the gender.
my first with my D&C one minute your pregnant, then 15-25 mins later your not
the second you slowly lose your baby
I thought of gender all the time, & a name while pregnant
but after I never thought about names.

But I want to.
I want to pray about it
& hopefully get some feeling or something; i really don't know what I am looking for
or even what I will say in my prayer about my babies
but I want to name my babies.
& I can't wait to report back with what we decided!

To anyone who has angel babies, or lost a close family member
Christian,Catholic,Atheist even
I really recommend this book.