Tuesday, May 3, 2011

guilt.

First off, thanks for all the responses on my post below! All your opinions were very appreciated!
I will let you know what I decided.

I know its not Thursday, but this blog is my outlet, my vent, my journal if you will & dag-nab-it I have to vent.

I have been a emotional wreck lately. Nothing new right? haha
I was just watching Pregnant in Heels, when a women put into words exactly what I was feeling.

You see, with not being able to get pregnant; & getting pregnant & miscarrying is obviously heartbreaking & takes a emotional toll on you. What I rarely talk about, & alot of us in the category don't is.

GUILT.
with my husband.

Each of us is going thru things.
But he will never understand,fully.
Thats when the women on the show said & I am paraphrasing "It would have been better if he would have just blamed me. Its not his fault. Its mine."-- He wants a family, I couldnt give it to him right away & then I killed our babies. I gave him hope when I had Kennedy. & the family he dreams for I cant give him.
 He didnt sign up for this.

The pain on my face I go thru seeing one line..you should see his.
It is the worst thing.
& me...I put that look on his face.

ME.

2 comments:

  1. Sending mega hugs.

    I feel this same guilt with my husband. I am meant to be able to give him a baby and make us a family..yet I continue to let him down.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have just learned about the whole ME problem too... M says he doesn't care and that we will get through this, but in my mind I feel robbed and that because I was robbed, that I am robbing him!

    I try not to think that way, but right now everything is too new and too fresh and I am still secretly hurting

    ReplyDelete

shucks, thanks the comment!
i looove hearing from you!
-tara :)

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...