Friday, April 1, 2011

breakdown.

I wish this was a April Fools.

Today, I went to pick up some new bows for bug from our bow maker {i cant make bows just flowers ;( } & I stopped at McDonalds to get breakfast & there in the drive-thru I had a break down. full sob style. I saw this family a boy & a girl looking just a year maybe 2 apart, get out of a van with their parents, you could tell they were traveling. Just the sight of them for some reason triggered a full-blown breakdown.

I texted Brandon, "I am having another bad day." Brandon asked what was wrong. - "I just started crying looking at this perfect family in the parking lot of mcdonalds on their vacation." & he replied.

"that will be us next month."

& it occurred me, that was us. 
Maybe not with another baby, & maybe never with another a baby. 
But, this is our family. & we are OUR perfect family.

I need to stop struggling with the fact that we maybe just be a family of 3.
If we get pregnant these few cycles we are trying, awesome.
If not, that is OK.
It's OK, Tara.

I kept telling myself that over & over, & repeating what Brandon said to me. 
{we are going on vacation next month by the way.}

& you know what?
My baby girl laughed in the backseat.
& I smiled.
My family is perfect.

I went home
put Kennedy in her Jenny Jump Up, which she loves
& OPK'd it up.

& it was POSITIVE!
I really was beginning to think I wasn't going to ovulate, again.
& it was like after I came to that peace
I was able to see that positive.





4 comments:

  1. Aww she is such a cutie. I had a lot of trouble getting pregnant with our little girl too. I had quite a few early miscarriages. And then with her - the first ultrasound was not looking good. Hooray... she stuck. You do have a gorgeous family.

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  2. Great post...You ARE that family. What a good hubby you have! GL this cycle...thinking of you!

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  3. beautiful post.... you are a PERFECT family, remember that.

    and your little is just beautiful :)

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  4. Sending many, many kick some IF butt vibes your way! Let your vaycay countdown begin!

    ReplyDelete

shucks, thanks the comment!
i looove hearing from you!
-tara :)

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