Saturday, March 19, 2011

why?

I've been wondering the last few weeks why do I blog? I started to blog to keep in touch with family, then was embraced with the unconditioned love & support of the infertility & miscarriage community.
Now I blog about product reviews, & new milestones.
But honestly I am so stuck in-between here.

I have been struggling struggling alot with the thought of not having another baby.
With the judgement of possibly trying for another baby, with possible complications.
A lot of you in my new found momma-community, can't relate to the struggles I went thru to get pregnant; or the struggles I am going thru about not being able to have another baby or the judgement.
My all-loving-supportive IF community wants to slap me in the face & say "YO you got your baby stop complainin!"

So lately I haven't blogged much, & if I have it has been stale. I lost 7 followers.
But, what's on my mind & what I want to blog about I feel is un-heard. 
If I put up a struggle with Kennedy I get so much advice & uplifting comments & emails.
If I put up something about struggling with my anger with not having another child, I don't get anything.

I am in the in-between, of mommy community & IF, RPL community.

Do I continue to blog?

11 comments:

  1. I think you should continue blogging and I wouldn't hold back. If people don't liike what they are reading and choose not to follow, that is their choice, but if you are anything like me, you are blogging to express your life and what it entails and if that include blogging about your struggles, than so be it. Don't hold back because of what others think. Keep it real friend, life isn't all cherries and butterflies!!

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  2. I say keep on bloggin! If your story can help one person going through what you did to get your little miracle (miracles)then you have touched not only their life but the life of their future children! You never know who is reading whether they comment or not the odds are your story means something to someone!

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  3. you are right etosia-
    i have gotten countless emails about helping other people with my story.

    that alone may keep me blogging.

    thanks for reminding me of that.

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  4. I don't think you should feel bad for being upset about it. If your dream was to have more than one child, then you have every right to be upset about not being able to. Kennedy is a blessing, and amazing and wonderful, and anyone who reads this blog can see you think that way, too, but just because you're sad about possibly not being able to have another child doesn't mean you don't appreciate Kennedy. People shouldn't judge/think badly of you for that, either.

    I'm not currently trying for any children myself (young college student) but I will most likely have some fertility issues whenever I do try (PCOS), and stories like yours make me worry a little bit less about my unknown future in trying to become a mother. :)

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  5. I agree with Beth; if your dreams include more than one baby, and that may not happen, you have every right to be upset or really disappointed. Some of us have that drive to have big families, and it doesn't mean we're greedy!
    Keep blogging!!

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  6. There's nothing wrong with wanting more children. Anyone who gives you shit about being angry at the possibility of not being able to have any more is an asshole.

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  7. I think your feeling are completely normal and honestly is so uplifting to hear about your story. I check your blog daily to see your newest post. Dont stop blogging because you are an inspiration!

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  8. Tara --
    Your blog is delightful and cute as button -- but what I personally enjoy the most about reading it is that it is real. Who cares what others think -- this is your life and you never need to rethink your feelings or make apologies. You rock, are an amazing Mommy (who has every right to want to share that love with another baby) and a genuine person -- end of story!
    Hang in there and don't you dare stop bloggin'!
    ♥cyn♥

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  9. I have had a similar struggle recently. Kind of trying to balance the two communities..I realize that all of my IF readers (which is what the vast majority of my readers are) probably don't care to read about my mommy stuff, yet that's my life now. And my goal has been to find new mommies like myself to add to my reader and hopefully start those relationships (which is how I found your blog!).

    I guess the thing that I keep going back to is that I have to blog for ME/US, and the readership comes. I think when you start blogging for a specific audience or even to please others, it becomes forced and I think it becomes less enjoyable for everyone. People who read your blog become invested in you and your story...which includes both the fun mommy stuff and also the struggle/sadness/anger that might come with your inability to have another.

    My only suggestion (and I'm obviously no expert) would be to go a few weeks or a month and not pay attention to the number of comments or followers and just blog about what YOU want, not what you think people want to read. Maybe you'll be surprised! Wishing you lots of luck and selfishly hoping you don't stop blogging! :)

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  10. Oh Tara.. I love your blog! I love how honest you are about everything including your struggles. Please don't stop blogging. You are one of the strongest women I have met on this blogging world and who cares if not everyone sees that.. You have definitely made an impact on my life!

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  11. blog for yourself, not other people. be honest about your feelings....people have no right to tell you how you should be feeling. And especially teeling you that the way you are feeling is wrong. If they don't like...they don't have to read it, or leave comments about it.

    I like your blog just as is it :)

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shucks, thanks the comment!
i looove hearing from you!
-tara :)

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